Mourinho sacked by Chelsea!

"Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one" - Mourinho introduces himself to the English press after arriving from Porto in summer 2004.

"I don't regret it. The only thing I have to understand is I'm in England, so maybe even when I think I am not wrong, I have to adapt to your country and I have to respect that. I have a lot of respect for Liverpool fans and what I did, the sign of silence - 'shut your mouth' - was not for them, it was for the English press" - Mourinho defends putting a finger to his lips during the 2005 Carling Cup final against Liverpool, an action which resulted in him being sent to the stands.

"It is not a red card, of course not, and for the second time we have to play 55, 60 minutes without a man and the game is completely different. I shouldn't speak about the game, because the game is not a game" - Mourinho blames a first-leg defeat to Barcelona in the Champions League last 16 in February 2006 on the sending-off of Asier del Horno.

"The goalkeeper has the ball in his hands, slides and the number 10 cannot get the ball. He goes with the knee into his face" - Mourinho accuses Reading midfielder Stephen Hunt of deliberately injuring Petr Cech after the pair collide in the first minute of last October's match at the Madejski Stadium.

"It is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem" - Shorn of the likes of injury victims Frank Lampard, Michael Ballack, Ricardo Carvalho and Didier Drogba, Mourinho cooked up a surreal analogy ahead of Tuesday's fateful draw with Rosenborg.